Given the synopsis for this movie, you know that you are not going to be in for something great. But still, I decided to give the movie a chance, you just might never know, it could have been the surprise of the century...

...but it wasn't. By all that is unholy, this movie was just awful. It is without a doubt one of the worst horror/thriller movies I have had to suffer through. The storyline was, well, boring to say the least. The characters were one-dimensional and the acting was wooden at best. This whole movie just reeked.

But it gets better, apparently most of the movie was just about having to show off more or less naked ladies on the screen as they were to make use of the tanning salon. And the fight scenes in the movie, well I will not say anything, because it has to be seen to be believed. Yeah, it was that bad.

The storyline in "Slink", or what passed as a storyline, is about a maniacal tanning salon owner who uses the customers for supplying his deranged purse-making wife with materials for her handiwork.

That was basically it for the story. It never at one moment had me captivated at any point, as there just was nothing in the movie to support a proper story. And the horrendous acting did nothing to help the movie along. Maybe it is just me, but were some of the people in the movie something taken out from a 'when plastic surgery goes bad' TV show?

Usually I don't pay much attention to the music score and soundtrack in movies, but this was just outstanding. And not in a good way, mind you. The music, well if you can actually call it that, was just an atrocity in itself. It was really, really bad, even for a horror movie.

Do yourself a favor and don't waste 80 minutes on watching this. Even bad horror movies from the mid-eighties were better than this one. It is without a doubt in the top ten worst horror movies that I have seen in my 38 years so far.

And they say that you can't help but look when you're pass by an accident site, this movie will prove them wrong. This accident of a movie will not catch your eye, I guarantee it.

This movie is just not good, the plot, the actors, the cinematography and the editing are all terrible. The lack of acting skill in this film is apparent from the opening scene with "Bill Nye the Sexual Predator Guy" and some random girl trying to clean a tanning bed. Furthermore, the dialog felt more like the initial read-through of the script rather than normal speaking people. I will say that I would have never watched this film if it were not for Achievement Hunter. If it were not for their commentary during this film I would have no idea what was going on. This so called plot jumps around so much and at times goes completely out the door, with random characters thrown in for the sole purpose to get naked. I mean there was so little character introduction and development that I could not tell you their names to save my life. So all I can say about this plot, is that some plastic surgery nightmare of a woman who is also a purse maker is in the same room as the comb over creep. These two kill young girls to make their skin into leather, then these girls get naked and it turns into something resembling a bad porn parody. I cannot stress enough how much this film just cuts to the most random crap that has ZERO relevance to any later part of the film. I mean the main characters sister gets killed about halfway through and no-one asks where she is, its like she just doesn't exist. I mean to be honest this film is like watching a plane crash, its a terrible thing to witness but you can't turn away because maybe a holy miracle might just save the day....... IT DOES NOT.

So if you think my review jumps around and has no real clear direction or flow, then don't watch this turd because its even worse.

But if you just really need to watch this I recommend getting a subscription to RoosterTeeth and watching it with their commentary, they are the only way to make this film remotely watchable.

Literally the only way this movie could be even remotely watchable is on Theater Mode (which is a movie-ridiculing show), and even then it's painful. I don't claim to know much about movie production but I'm reasonably sure that even I could've done a better job of this film than its director. The total lack of talent and expertise is obvious throughout the movie. The direction is so poor it looks like every scene was done in one take regardless of its quality. The writing isn't nearly as bad as the acting, and even so it's still not great. There are some movies that are bad enough to be funny, but this film surpasses the funny margin. It's so bad it's not even funny. Do not under any circumstances watch this movie unless it's on Theater Mode.